11 Self-love Practices
This is a collection of practices to support your journey back to Self—a soft place to land, reflect, and reconnect.
Whether you're just beginning to explore self-love or you've been walking this path for years, these
invitations are here to meet you where you are. Each practice is rooted in curiosity, compassion, and the
belief that you are already whole. There's no rush, no "right" way to do this work—only your way.
You might move through these pages in order, or skip around and land where your heart feels pulled. Some
practices will feel like gentle reminders, others might stir something deeper. All are designed to help you
listen inward, soften old patterns, and remember your worth.
Take what you need. Leave the rest. Come back as often as you like.
This is for you.
Practice 1: Meet yourself in the mirror
If you’ve never met your eyes in the mirror before and held your own gaze (if you haven’t, you’re not
alone), this can feel incredibly awkward, uncomfortable and even painful sometimes. However, pain and
discomfort are often part of the self-love journey and this is why you are so brave for showing up. We
want to look away from what we don’t like, we want to look away from pain. We don’t want to feel
uncomfortable. But in order to truly love ourselves, we have to love the parts of us that feel awkward and
uncomfortable. We have to love our pain to work through it. It all wants to be acknowledged, and most
often, has important information for us. So here’s the practice.
Find a Quiet Space:
Stand or sit in front of a mirror where you can see your face clearly. Make sure the space is calm, and
you won't be disturbed.
Look Into Your Own Eyes:
Gaze into your eyes in the mirror, without distraction. This might feel awkward or uncomfortable at first,
but try to maintain eye contact with yourself. See yourself with kind eyes, as if you were looking at a
beloved friend.
Allow Yourself to Feel:
As you look, notice any thoughts, judgments, emotions or resistance that arise. It’s okay if you feel
vulnerable,
Be patient and gentle with yourself. Allow the emotions to flow and practice self-compassion.
Show Yourself Kindness:
If you're struggling, try placing a hand over your heart or gently rubbing your arms. This can create a sense of soothing comfort and help you feel more connected to yourself.
End with Gratitude:
Take a moment to express gratitude for yourself and your body. Thank yourself for taking the time to practice self-love and for all you do.
Journal:
Looking myself in the eyes feels like _________________.
____________ (thoughts, feelings, judgments, resistance) came up for me as I continued to hold my own gaze.
The kindness or gratitude I want to give myself today is ________________.
I LOVE this spoken word poem about meeting yourself in the mirror and why it’s important - check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TWAFsT7yfk
Practice 2: Letters from love
Author Elizabeth Gilbert has a daily practice called Letters from Love. Each day, she finds a quiet space to check-in with herself and ask the question - What would love have me know today? (You can follow her on Substack to hear/read people’s letters from love).
So, let’s try it…
Find a quiet space.
Have a journal or computer handy to begin writing.
Take a deep breath, close your eyes if it’s comfortable.
Start to tune-in to your body.
Ask yourself, “what would love have me know today?”
Then see what presents itself and write it down. There is no right or wrong answer. Let it free flow. Just allow, allow, allow. Be gentle, curious, and loving to whatever arises.
Practice 3: Notice your thoughts
We all have an inner critic or judge that co-opts our thoughts, oftentimes without our awareness. These thoughts, when unchecked, inform our decision-making, our beliefs, our patterns. They affect our relationships, our experiences, and our well-being.
Today, just notice. Notice judgmental or critical thoughts as they arise. Notice with so much curiosity and
gentleness. Let’s try to refrain from judging ourselves for judging ourselves - what a cycle.
When you catch your inner critic, get curious about what comes up. Ask yourself:
~ Is this belief/thought absolutely true? How do I know?
~ Would I speak this way to a loved one? If no, why do I choose to speak to myself this way?
~ What words of inspiration, encouragement, empowerment might be helpful for me right now?
Practice 4: Body scan meditation
I know many folks have discomfort around the thought of meditation, but stick with me. This exercise can
take as little as 5 minutes.
~To start the body scan meditation, find a quiet and comfortable place. You can be seated or lie down.
~Close your eyes if comfortable.
~Take a few deep breaths to drop into the body.
~Then, just begin to notice. Start with the top of your head and slowly scan down the body focusing
on each body part until you reach your toes.
Questions to consider:
🌿What sensations are you experiencing?
🌿Are you holding tightness or tension in a particular part of your body?
🌿Are you holding ease or relaxation in a particular part of your body?
🌿How does your breathing feel?
🌿What emotions or thoughts are you noticing? Any judgment coming up?
Notice. Notice. Notice. And remember, be gentle with yourself! 💞
Practice 5: Play!
Take time to play…whatever that means to you.
✨Go outside, play a game, dance, read a book, do art or other creative expression, bake cookies, connect
with a loved one.
✨Do something that will spark joy and a sense of childlike wonder.
✨Engaging in play shows us that we are worth the time and energy to relax and have fun. Play gives us
permission to be joyful, curious, and free.
✨ Play is vital because it nurtures the mind, body, and soul. It helps alleviate stress, sparks creativity,
maintains cognitive function, fosters connections, and promotes overall well-being. Play is not a luxury; it's a
necessity for a balanced and fulfilling adult life.
Questions to consider:
~ I define play as _________.
~ Playing feels ____________ to me.
~ The last time I played was __________.
~ I stopped playing because ___________. (if this is true for you)
Practice 6: Write yourself a permission slip
Giving yourself conscious permission helps interrupt old patterns of guilt, pressure, or self-denial. It’s a
powerful way to affirm your needs, reclaim your agency, and build trust in your inner voice.
What permission do I need to live more authentically? Consider what you’re needing more of. Less of.
Examples:
I give myself permission to…
• "take a break whenever I feel overwhelmed."
• "say 'no' without feeling guilty."
• “feel sad when I need to, without judgment."
• "feel excited about my success."
• "be imperfect and embrace mistakes as part of my growth."
• "be exactly who I am, without pretending to be someone else."
• "rest without guilt, even when there's more to be done."
• "change my mind and make new choices."
Write it down, sign it, and let it be a loving commitment to yourself.
Practice 7: Pick yourself some flowers
We all have moments when we hold ourselves back—waiting for someone else to go first, to join us, or to
give us permission. But in that waiting, our hearts stay quietly unfulfilled. Sometimes, we wait for years—
hoping someone will show up, take the lead, or meet us in the places we long to go.
And it’s not just about romance. We can hold ourselves back in all kinds of ways—creatively, emotionally, spiritually—waiting for someone else to move before we do.
So today, consider this: What’s one thing you’ve been holding back from—something you’ve been hoping someone else would do with you, or for you?
Maybe it’s a small gesture. Maybe it’s something bigger. You know what your heart is longing for.
And if you’re not quite ready to act, that’s okay. Start by asking yourself gently: “Is there something I’m not doing or being, because I’m waiting for someone else to do it with me—or for me?”
Here are some ideas if you need help getting started:
🌸 Pick yourself some flowers
🚶 ♀️ Go on a walk or hike by yourself
💌 Write yourself a thank-you or love note
☕ Buy yourself coffee or a nice dinner
🎬 Take yourself to a movie
💆 ♀️ Massage your own feet
✈️ Plan the solo trip
Once you decide to do the thing, the key is to be fully present with yourself while doing it—just as you would hope a friend, partner, or date would.
Practice 8: Be so gentle
Many of us are quick to criticize ourselves but slow to offer compassion. Practicing gentleness—especially toward our past selves—helps soften the inner harshness and makes space for healing, growth, and a more loving relationship with who we are becoming.
Here are a few questions to consider:
• How can I be more understanding toward my inner critic and approach her with compassion?
• What does self-forgiveness mean to me? What does it look like, and how does it feel?
• Am I waiting for forgiveness from someone else? If so, can I offer that forgiveness to myself instead?
• If I were able to forgive myself, how might that shift my relationships with others? How might it shift my life?
Take a moment to check in with yourself. Where can you offer yourself more kindness and forgiveness today?
Practice 9: Find the proof
So much of the self-love journey involves retraining and unlearning the things we've been taught to believe about ourselves. Somewhere along the way, you might have been taught that you’re unworthy of love—that you need to prove yourself, work hard, or people-please in order to be loved. And because our minds LOVE evidence, we naturally look for situations, people, and interactions that confirm this belief. We like to be right, even if it’s about something painful. We like to be right because it feels safer than being “wrong”.
In her book Welcome Home, Najwa Zebian shares a practice called See Love. She reminds us that as we learn to love ourselves, we must set the intention each day to actively notice love around us.
“As you work on learning self-love, every morning, tell yourself: 'Today, I am going to see proof that I am worthy of love.'
Instead of noticing the people who don’t smile at you, you will notice the ones who do. Instead of noticing the people who don’t say hello back, you will notice the ones who do. Instead of focusing on what you lack, you will notice what you have. And instead of focusing on the love you don’t have; you will notice the love you do.”
Where are you finding love that you haven’t noticed before—or haven’t seen in a while?
Practice 10: Excavate the plaster
Have you heard the story of the Golden Buddha?
Centuries ago in Thailand, there was a temple known as the Temple of the Golden Buddha, home to a breathtaking statue made entirely of solid gold. In the 1700s, when news of a Burmese invasion reached the monks, they covered the statue in mud and clay to disguise its value. The statue was left untouched throughout the attack, but tragically, the monks who protected it were killed. Over time, the golden statue was forgotten, hidden beneath its protective shell for over 200 years.
Some say a young monk later noticed a glimmer beneath the clay when a piece fell off, while others believe the truth was revealed when the statue was accidentally dropped during a relocation in the 1950s. Either way, the gold beneath was rediscovered, and the statue’s brilliance shined once again.
Now, I haven’t done any fact-checking so I’m unsure if this story is true, but nonetheless, it serves as a powerful metaphor: we are all born as golden beings—whole, radiant, and worthy. Over time, our conditioning, trauma, limiting beliefs and judgments of others form layers over our core selves, hiding who we truly are.
As you think about this metaphor, here are some questions to consider:
~What are some of the "layers" I’ve picked up over time—beliefs, fears, roles, or expectations—that may be hiding my true self?
~When have I felt deeply connected to my inner gold—my authentic, radiant self? What allowed that part of me to shine?
~Are there any stories I’ve been told (or told myself) that no longer feel true? Am I ready to let them go?
There’s no need to rush the uncovering—your gold is there waiting for you.
Practice 11: Identify Saboteurs
Saboteurs are internal protective mechanisms we often develop early in life to help keep ourselves safe. While they may be well-meaning, these parts are usually outdated and no longer serve our highest good.
As humans, we tend to avoid confronting our saboteurs — it can feel too painful or uncomfortable to acknowledge that these parts exist within us. Instead, we ignore, suppress, or repress them. But the more we push them away, the stronger they become. Left unexamined, they can quietly take control, shaping our relationships, well-being, and overall experience of life.
Once we are aware of our saboteurs, it’s helpful to build a relationship with them. They often have important information for us regarding something that needs to shift in our lives.
Here are some questions to consider as you develop awareness around your saboteurs:
What situations trigger a strong inner critic?
What does it say?
What habits or behaviors do I fall into when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious?
Do I procrastinate on things that matter to me? If so, what do I tell myself to justify it?
When I compare myself to others, what internal narrative do I hear?
If you’ve already identified your saboteurs, consider these questions:
If I gave this internal saboteur a name and personality, what would it be like? (e.g., People Pleaser, Avoider, Hyper-vigilant, Perfectionist)
What does this part of me believe it’s protecting me from?
What would I say to this saboteur if I could speak back to it?
Closing thoughts
Thank you for meeting yourself here.
Remember, these practices aren’t meant to “fix” you—because you are not broken. They’re simply invitations to return to your own wisdom, softness, and strength. Some days the path will feel clear and open; other days, foggy or hard to follow. Both are part of the journey.
Keep listening. Keep coming back to yourself with curiosity and care. You are your own best companion, your own steady guide. And every time you choose presence over perfection, compassion over criticism, you’re already practicing self-love.
Go gently. You’re doing beautifully.
